Crazy man spits on 15-year-old on NYC subway train, mom can't understand why she's still affected by it 4 years later: 'She’s sworn to never go back to New York City.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Nov 20, 2025 8:00 PM EST

She has clearly not healed from the trauma of this, and her mother is 100% to blame.

Sometimes, people are unaffected by events that would be life-altering for others. Some plane crash survivors can get back on a plane days after their crash, and others are unable to ever get on a plane for the rest of their lives. Obviously, both of these cases require some mental health intervention, because nobody is totally unaffected by something like that, but everyone is built differently. Freaking out at the merest suggestion of turbulence does not make you a weak person, nor does being completely stoic in an emergency make you a strong person.

If an event was traumatic for you, ignoring the trauma and letting it fester for years is only going to make it worse. Everyone has a different idea about what "overcoming your fears" looks like. Who could forget those episodes of Maury where he would brandish pickles in front of women who were deathly afraid of pickles? I think most of us can agree that that's not the most ethical strategy, but if not that, then what? Exposure therapy works in a lot of cases, but some are way too severe for that to be the first step.

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  • A woman in a fur coat on the New York City subway
    via Sam Jotham Sutharson

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The young woman in this story has yet to overcome something incredibly traumatic that happened to her on the New York City subway four years ago, and her mom is totally insensitive to her struggle, berating her for not being over it by now.

  • "Daughter overreacting over something that happened four years ago"

    Four years ago, we took a trip to NYC with my husband and three kids. Our second time there. It was late and we had to take the subway back to our hotel. Unfortunately my husband and kids weren't fast enough, and I hopped on the train, and they didn't. (I'm a brisk walker.)
    via u/NardDogg000
  • After a long discussion with my husband over the phone about alternate routes and etc, and a lot of waiting, we managed to meet up. This is where I learned that they apparently had a crazy guy on the train with them, swearing and spitting on passengers. When
    via u/NardDogg000
  • Man boarding a subway train at a station
    via Anthony Sebbo

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • the train stopped, my husband got off and got to safety, but my kids were slow to get off the train and were targeted on the platform by the crazy guy. He apparently swore and spit on them, mostly at my oldest (my daughter, 15 y.o.)
    via u/NardDogg000
  • My daughter (let's call her Iris) always been sensitive about it, refusing to outright say the words "subway," "train," or even "New York City." She's sworn to never go back there, and she hasn't even worn the clothes she was wearing during that particular incident ever since. But at this point, it's been four years. The
    via u/NardDogg000
  • smallest thing can make Iris react with anger. She tenses up whenever we drive over railroad tracks. Earlier this month, she got all mad because I sent the news reel about a stabbing incident in the subway. Just today, she was telling me about a particularly intense movie scene with a train that she got all scared about, and
    via u/NardDogg000
  • all I said was jokingly "choo- choo," and she flipped out yelling. So I yelled at her, as she has no right yelling at her parents, and she huffed and stormed to her room.
    via u/NardDogg000
  • A bedroom with a bed and a ceiling fan
    via Hans (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • It's not as if she almost died! She is just overly sensitive, even though she used to be more tough when she was younger. And like I said, it's now been about four years since the "NYC incident," as she calls it. Iris is now 19 years old. Yet she hasn't grown out of this yet. Her younger
    via u/NardDogg000
  • siblings who were there with her had no problem. So why on earth is Iris like this?? TL;DR, Daughter overreacting about a minor incident that happened FOUR YEARS AGO.
    via u/NardDogg000
  • Apprehensive War9612 So you irresponsibly jumped onto a crowded New York City subway train, leaving your spouse and children behind on the platform. In a city that they're unfamiliar with. When you met up, your husband then irresponsibly left his children behind, allowing them to be accosted by a crazy person. Your teenager was assaulted in the subway station, yes spitting on someone is considered an assault. Especially four years ago following ; and since then you and your husband mock her for
    via u/Apprehensive_War9612
  • You've watched her struggle to get past this, done nothing to help her, and then send her articles of people being assaulted on a train to trigger her trauma. And then you make fun of her for it. Gee- I have no idea why Iris is like this. Normally teenagers with such shitty parents are remarkably well adjusted.
    via u/Apprehensive_War9612
  • NardDogg000 OP PTSD is for people who have actually BEEN THROUGH something. This child used to be on the tougher side, climbing trees and watching horror movies, etc. And then a stranger calls her a few names and spits on her and suddenly she acts like she's returning home from war every time she sees hears or thinks about a train. The younger ones had no problem! I don't see why she should act this way. I figured she was tough.
    via u/NardDogg000
  • Ohmyshazz PTSD CAN HAPPEN TO ANYONE, FOR ANY REASON!!!! GET HER HELP!!!! Or let her be with family that will.
    via u/Ohmyshazz
  • NardDogg000 OP That is not PTSD. She was not even assaulted. Just spit on and called a few names. People nowadays are so weak I swear to god.
    via u/NardDogg000
  • Dont_Mess_With_Texas You are an abhorrent parent
    via u/Dont_Mess_With_Texas
  • nodak500 You separated yourself from your family by walking fast, then your husband separated from your kids by getting off the train faster than the kids. When the kids were accosted by this creep he singled out your daughter more than your sons. Your daughter was traumatized by this incident really bad and what did you do about for her? No consulting or therapy oh no you make fun of her...saying she is over reacting and it's been four years she needs get over it. My advice to you is individual
    via u/nodak500
  • NardDogg000 OP First off, I have no sons. They are all girls. Second, I just happened to be in a rush to get back to the hotel, and didn't realize they were so far away. My husband actually has some concept of self- preservation, so he got the hell out of the train, out of the crazy guy's way. It's not my fault my kids were slow as hell getting off the train.
    via u/NardDogg000
  • And we are NOT spending money for some so- called "trauma" that my eldest experienced, when she wasn't even hurt, and it was HER fault that she didn't get her ass out of that train fast enough and made eye contact with the guy. I need advice as to how to handle this spoiled brat who tries to police what others say around her, due to her OWN shortcomings.
    via u/NardDogg000
  • thehorsejammer Why would you deliberately provoke her by sending her an article about a subway s choo"? and say?"choo
    via u/thehorsejammer
  • NardDogg000 OP Because it should NOT be affecting her this much. She is NINETEEN. And she's always been tough before, or so I thought.
    via u/NardDogg000
  • Dr_and_Mrs_Who Who are you to decide that? You don't get to tell someone how to react to something. You're just pushing her further and further away. Also I love that your first thought after getting comments on the other sub was to try again instead of looking inward and reflecting. A-plus parenting right there.
    via u/Dr_and_Mrs_Who
  • NardDogg000 OP There is no "looking inward" to do!! The fact of the matter is that I have an overly sensitive daughter who tries to police what others say around her, and I won't be told what to say or what not to say. She wasn't hurt, and she just makes a big deal about nothing. She's even mentioned that she won't even wear the hood of her hoodies anymore because it “takes away peripheral vision."
    via u/NardDogg000

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crazy family drama crazy people teenager bad parenting bad parents parenting raising teens Subway family daughter trains train Parenting Fail Parenting FAILS
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